Life on the rock. A Habhater's tale. <$BlogRSDUrl$>

Saturday, February 28, 2004

While we await Graham's answer to this all important question I thought I'd share with you the hockey game I watched this afternoon. It was April 13th 1982 Quebec Nordiques vs. Montreal Canadiens Game 5 of a best of 5, first round of the playoffs. Quebec had finished 16th that year in points out of 21 teams. I watched this game live on my dads 12 inch black and white TV as a ten year old. It gave me great pleasure to rewatch it thanks to ESPN Classic Canada in colour for the first time. Any ways Quebec takes a 2 - 0 lead thanks to a goal and assist from Anton Statsney and Wilf Paiment. (not wearing 99) Montreal ties up the game in the third with goals by Mario Trembley and some Picard guy. In overtime Dale Hunter scores to give the series win to Quebec. A lot of things stood out to me, size of goalie equipment, the tons of clutching and grabbing, at least 3 hits from behind that would have been majors in today's NHL and how stupid Hab fans are. Any ways I've talked a lot about conspiracies and such but something happened in the game that screamed of bribery and cheating. After Quebec was up 2-0 Fairy (Larry) Robinson is behind the Quebec goal and lifts the back of the net and pushes the puck through the back, red light comes on. Referee saw what happened and disallows goal but Robinson still argues for quite some time. Fast forward to game winning goal in overtime. Hunter clearly scores but red light doesn't come on. Hmmmmm game in Montreal, goal judge counts Montreal goal that goes through back of net but won't count Quebec goal that goes through front of net. The referee again sees what happens allows the goal game over. The best part was watching the booing and crying hab fans at the end. Any ways always good to see the Habs losing.

Friday, February 27, 2004

The plot thickens. In part two of AaronPerryremindsmeofthehindendofababoongate, it has been brought to my attention that all of the information presented to me may not be totally accurate. I talked with my brother last night and he denies the accusation brought against him. The suspicious thing in all of this is the informant was none other than the brother of baboonbuttface Aaron Perry. His name .......Paul Perry. So what is the truth. I tend to believe my brother as I have witnessed his hab hating ways for many years. The hard part is Paul has always been trustworthy towards me in the past. (even though there are pictures circulating claiming he is a supporter of the NDP) I blame Napolean Bonaparte for obvious reasons one of which is there goes the thnikkaman, here comes the thnikkaman. What was I saying? Oh well I forget it's hard to concentrate with the Thnikkaman always coming around.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

I have very sad news to report. Two Perry's have been accused of cheering for the Habs. Their names are Aaron (my cousin)(alias AP) and Graham (my former brother) (alias Kilo) Both these spineless girls are Toronto Maple Leaf fans. The situation was the Habs were playing Ottawa. Ottawa is the team standing in the way of the Leafs finishing first in their division. They deemed it was acceptable to cheer for the Habs since it benefitted their favourite team. My reasoning is this: anything that would make you support and cheer for evil must be evil itself. Therefore the love of the Maple Leafs must be evil since it caused people to cheer for the Habs. This hurts me deeply since I have been a closet Leaf fan most of my life. (after the Whalers and Canes) That is now forever tainted by Kilo and AP. Thanks a lot guys, I can no longer cheer for the Leafs. I hope you're happy.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Most of you know my favourite hockey player is Ron Francis. He passed another milestone last night with his game winning goal over the Maple Leafs, his 545th of his career. In scoring that goal he moved into 20th on the alltime list for goal scoring and more importantly pushed some loser named Morris or Maris or something like that Richard (former Hab) out of the top 20. For those of you that don't know Francis is currently 2nd alltime in assists, 20th alltime in goals, and 4th alltime in points. Sucky Koivu is currently just a useless man. Don't forget to send me your habhating submissions.

Monday, February 23, 2004

A special thank-you goes out to the Leafs for letting the Habs have hope by letting them score 4 goals and then dashing them by scoring 5 themselves. Habs record since the petition is now 1 - 5. As promised I have the updates for the Grand Manan guys and girls provincial championship. The girls fought hard but lost against an obviously steroid using Hartland team. (Just kidding) Our girls couldn't break their press and it cost them in the end. MVP was Emma Russell from our youth group. The guys played a very mediocre first half but still won the game by 15 or so points. MVP was Colton Wilson from our church. I like to think it is my basketball abilities that have been rubbing off on these guys. Our Single A guys team is arguably the best team in the province at all levels of high school ball having beat both Saint John and Fredericton AAA schools this year. They finish the year undefeated against all New Brunswick teams. Finally I'm not sure if I've said this lately but I Hate the Habs!

Friday, February 20, 2004

I'm in Fredericton today, both our guys and girls basketball teams made the provincial finals and I along with about 800 other Grand Mananers came up for the game. I'm sure you've heard by now but despite our best efforts Montreal broke their losing streak last night. ___________ I provided that blank for everyone to provide their own expletive. To cheer myself up I have added a link to SheetzI'm hoping this summer to finally meet the owner of this tremendous gas station chain. Yes it would be a thrill to see John Sheetz himself! Well I'm off like a Jewish foreskin. I'll let you know how the games went but I'll wait 'till they're over 'till I let you know.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

After much thinking I believe I have to apologize in regards to the petition that many of you have already signed. When I made the petition I had no idea what an effect it was going to have. So I'm sorry. If I had known sooner that this petition would cause the Habs to go on a huge losing streak I would have done this years ago. 0 - 4 baby. All the Habs are useless. All the Habs are Userless hey All the Habs are useless. You say what petition well tell all your friends it's at this link Ban the Habs and their Fans! One other quick note I played Scottie Leighton in a best of 5 series Carolina, Montreal on my Playstation 2. I won the first two games 3 - 1. The third was a classic. Montreal gave up two goal leads twice only to lose in overtime 5 - 4 . Special congratulations go out to Sean Hill for scoring the winning goal.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

This will be a different post than usual except for this part. HABS ARE 0 - 3 SINCE THE PETITION WOOOOOO HOOOOOO BOOOOOO YAAAAAAH! We pulled off a musical miracle last night in under 2 hours 3 members of our band plus Sween learned 10 songs from scratch for a show we were doing last night and we pulled it off. Why we had only two hours is a long story but let me sum up part of it. "My gas pedal fell off." Anyways here were the songs we did:

Keep Your Hands to Yourself - Georgia Sattelites
Misery - Moffats
I Want it that Way - Back Street Boys
Best Deceptions - Dashboard Confessional
Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
Carry this Picture - Dashboard Confessional
Wonderwall - Oasis
Every Rose has It's Thorn - Poison
Happy together - A punk version originally by the Turtles
Back Hair Baby - Originally Back Here Baby by BBMak
Plus I did a Weird Al Yankovic Valentine's Medley including:
Good Enough For Now
I Was only Kidding
One More Minute
You Don't Love Me Anymore
As a wise man once said I love it when a plan comes together.

Friday, February 13, 2004

What a pathetic attempt last night by the Habs. They gave up a two goal lead in the third to be slaughtered by the Lightning 5-3. Hoser Theodore looked like an emu in the headlights of a hummer all night. Poor Shelly Sorbet couldn't play because of a boo boo on his knee. The Habs have lost heart and that is a great sign for habhaters everywhere. I would love to post submissions that you may have about the Habs. Jokes, newspaper articles, poems etc... My email is habhate@nbnet.nb.ca . A periodic feature I would like to have is Hab fans through history. I would like to list three hab fans together that have had similar walks of life. For example this issues threesome are: Idi Amin, Jean Chretian, Robert Bruce. That's how it works so submit away. Don't forget to sign the petition at Ban the Habs and their fans!

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Habs lost again last night. Ever since we have started this petition I think the Habs have lost heart and are just giving up. (Bunch of losers and quitters.) Anyways don't forget to sign the petition to Ban the Habs and their fans! My goal is to reach 500 signatures. We have 10 so far. Tell your friends about it. You can link to it here Ban the Habs and their fans!

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would just like to say what many of you have thought before Doug Mackenzie is a genius. He has called for a petition and he shall have one. Everyone needs to go to Ban the Habs and their fans! By signing this petition you are making the world a better place. After you sign tell 24 friends to sign as well. We have an opportunity to make history here. Let's not waste it.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Weird Al has won a grammy for his album Poodle Hat. Congrats to one of the greatest performers of our life time. I'd like to relay to you a coversation I had with my cousin Paul. He has helped me understand the mind of the Hab fan at a new level. During a conversation with Robert "hablover" Bruce, Robert expressed that his greatest wish would be for the Habs to win the stanley cup this year and then the NHL disband so noone could ever win the cup again. His thoughts were he would like to brag to everyone that the Habs were the last team ever to win the Stanley Cup. This is just like a typical Hab fan mind. "I only think of myself" "I don't care about the pain of others" "I hate hockey and want it to not exist" "I love Satan" "violence is great especially when directed towards children" Well I for one do not support Rob Bruce's children hating Satan loving ways! Ban the Habs and their fans! Ban the Habs and their fans! Ban the Habs and their fans! Ban the Habs and their fans!

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Wow, sorry so long between posts. I must have been a little hungover from all the groundhog day partying. I would like to express my deepest appreciation to all Maple Leaf fans for their scrumtralescent and very unhablike performance against the Ottawa Senators. Not since I saw Edmonton score 5 unanswered goals against the Habs in the third period of a game have I seen such a collapse. I would also like to announce to the world that I have finally tracked down a copy of Patricia's last game as a Hab. It will probably be a couple of months before I get it but I'll try to have it before I come to Ontario in March. I would love to provide copies of it to anyone who would like one. Just let me know.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

Hey Aaron did I spell everything right this time?

Habs got back to their usual losing ways on Saturday losing 1-0 to Boston. Their inept offense showed through. On a different note I watched UFC 46 last night and must say was pleasantly surprised by B.J. Penn's dominance over Matt Hughes. My favourite was Frank Mirr destroying the gargantuan goofy giant. I would also add that Vitore Belfort dominated Randy Couture in every aspect of their fight. Those that watched it know what I'm talking about. You may ask why is Kirk talking about all this on his habhating site. I find it very enjoyable to think about each member of the Habs spending TAWTS in the ring. (Time Alone With Tim Silvia) Just close your eyes and think about it. MMMMMMM Fractured Skull.

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