Life on the rock. A Habhater's tale.

I apologize in advance for this longer than usual post. I have decided to do a few top nine lists over the next little while. I may try one a week or 12 a day. Probably somewhere in between or not close to either. Any ways my first top 9 list is:

Top 9 Worst Song Lyrics Ever

I was looking for songs that were bad right through not just a bad line or two.

#9 Pretty much every country song ever written. I needed this catch all so my whole list wouldn't be country songs. Songs like "She thinks my tractor is sexy", "Fishing in the Dark", "Achy Breaky Heart" just to name a few.

#8 Invisible - Clay Aiken (we call it the stalker song) "If I was invisible Then I could just watch you in your room If I was invincible I'd make you mine tonight If hearts were unbreakable Then I could just tell you where I stand I would be the smartest man If I was invisible (Wait..I already am)" Not only is it creepy to think of Clay Aiken stalking you but this song is pure cheese. (stinky cheese)

#7 Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman? -Bryan Adams This song is so insincere and it is too bad since I do enjoy the music. Listen to this absurdity "You've gotta breathe her - really taste her Til you can feel her in your blood N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes Ya know ya really love a woman" Ugh

#6 I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden In my opinion the cheesiest song of all time. "I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life A thousand angels dance around you I am complete now that I've found you" Seems pretty crowded to me.

#5 I Wanna Be a Cowboy - Boys Don't Cry I must say I love this song!!! but the lyrics are terrible. "Oh Yipee Yipee Yo Yo My name is Ted and one day I'll be dead. Yo Yo Yo" This song however still makes me smile.

#4 Father's Eyes - Amy Grant I know in context this song is supposed to be beautiful BUT that chorus killed me "She's got her Father's eyes, her Father's eyes ...Just like my Father's eyes, my Father's eyes, my Father's eyes Just like my Father's eyes." over and over again with the Father's eyes. Hey Amy just give him back his eyes and shut -up.

#3 Zombie - Cranberries This is another song I actually like but lyrics like this could only have been written by an elementary school drop out (or Jacques Demers) "In your head, in your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie, Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head, In your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie? Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou... "

#2 Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani I'm proud to say that after hearing this song only once I dedicated my life to never hearing it again. So far so good. Please be advised to read these lyrics I am about to type will make you dumber. "Let me hear you say, this *poop* is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S this poop is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S Again, this poop is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S This poop is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S A few times I've been around that track So it's not just gonna happen like that Cause I ain't no hollaback girl I ain't no hollaback girl"
* slight editing by me.

#1 What I Am - Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians This song makes less sense than as the Bruce would say "tits on a bull" Here are all the lyrics:

"I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean
Philosophy is a talk on cereal box religion
Is a smile on a dog

I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean
Choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what?

I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know if you know what I mean
Philosophy is a walk on slippery rocks religion
is a light in the fog"

They just don't write them like this anymore. Thank goodness. Let me know if you think i missed one that should have made this top 9.