Monday, May 28, 2007
Important News from the Onion. Everyone must read:
WASHINGTON, DC—Citing centuries of quality- control issues that have resulted in chronic unreliability, cascading system failures, and even total unit shutdown, the American Pug Breeders Association announced a recall Monday of all pugs produced between February 2006 and the present day.
"We apologize wholeheartedly to any and all owners of the 2007 pug," APBA director Betty McAndrews said at a press conference, standing before a table where 10 defective pugs were displayed. "While pug owners are accustomed to dog malfunction, the latest animals are prone to more problems than just the usual joint failures, overheating, seizures, chronic respiratory defects, and inability to breed without assistance. The latest model pug is simply not in any way a viable dog."
This week, the APBA has begun to send out recall information and cardboard mailing boxes to registered pug owners, who are asked to place their '07 pug inside the box, seal it, and, if they wish, punch air holes in the top and sides. Owners must then put the box inside an airtight heavy-duty plastic bag, affix a postage-paid mailing label, and drop it off at any U.S. post office.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Anaheim vs Ottawa
What a boring final this is going to be. Anaheim "Ducks" vs Ottawa "Senators". That's right the two worst names in hockey are in the final. Oh I'm so scared you have a duck on your shirt. OR A senator is supposed to intimidate me? What is he going to do create a filibuster that bores me to tears. Last year we had mother nature (Hurricanes) vs. the geysers of black liquid. (Oilers) Both are much more scary. On the ice we have Pronger from last years Oilers vs. Marty Gerber from the Stanley Cup winning Hurricanes. Let's face it without Gerber the Senators wouldn't have made it this far. Ok prediction time. I'm going Ottawa in 5. (Although deep down I kind of want them to lose.) I can just see Giguere and Pronger holding the cup (both former Hartford Whalers) For those of you that aren't sports fans the rest is for you:
Paul Perry did something like this on his facebook. He took his name and the word "likes" entered it in google and published the first 10 or so search results. I've done the same thing with the word hates. Here are the results:Kirk Hates 4 Kids
Kirk Hates my Kona
Kirk hates to lose the planet
Kirk hates the new Starfleet issue alarm clock
Kirk hates you
Kirk hates the name Leonard
Kirk hates Klingons.
Kirk hates losing
Kirk hates being neat.
Kirk hates the habs.
Kirk hates sewing.
Paul Perry did something like this on his facebook. He took his name and the word "likes" entered it in google and published the first 10 or so search results. I've done the same thing with the word hates. Here are the results:Kirk Hates 4 Kids
Kirk Hates my Kona
Kirk hates to lose the planet
Kirk hates the new Starfleet issue alarm clock
Kirk hates you
Kirk hates the name Leonard
Kirk hates Klingons.
Kirk hates losing
Kirk hates being neat.
Kirk hates the habs.
Kirk hates sewing.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Where are your parents?
This video is a little disturbing but the title of this post seems appropriate. BTW Scott Ingalls has his blog problems fixed and you can check into his life under Grand Manan Bloggers and more specifically Mac Lover.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
This is a new Post
You can tell this is a new post because you haven't read this before. Other indications of its newness are the date at the top. Now I will confuse you. "THE CAROLINA HURRICANES ARE THE STANLEY CUP CHAMPS" It may seem now that you have gone back in time to an old post but in fact that statement is still just as true as it was when I first said it. (for a couple more weeks any ways) People are always asking me "Kirk, what is new" Now I can say I have a new post on my blog. That will be a great response to those who ask me the question about my newness. I've been to New Jersey but not lately. Bon Jovi had an album called New Jersey but other than Lay your hands on me, Bad Medicine, Born to be my baby, Wild is the Wind, and I'll be there for you it sucked. New York Rangers will not win the cup this year. Who knew? New is the new soon. What does that mean? I wish I knew. I've seen Newsboys in concert 10 times. They don't do a lot of new songs. Well that's about it except for one final question for all of you. Do you have any things that have happened to you recently that are original and have not happened before? I'd love to hear about any current facts about yourself that you'd like to share.
(What do you expect when I start posting at 2:10 in the morning)
P.S. Actually I enjoy rambling nonsenical posts.
(What do you expect when I start posting at 2:10 in the morning)
P.S. Actually I enjoy rambling nonsenical posts.
Friday, May 11, 2007
My Favourite Video of All time
Ok it is now time to reveal my favourite video of all time. No it is not Alanis Morisette's version of My Humps (which is astounding) but it touches my heart in places that many of you probably wouldn't want to get touched. I've showed a few of you this but now I want you all to partake in my joy. It is a 70's song by Armi and Danny called I Wanna Love You Tender. If some of you can't handle the incredibly bad choreography to the end please at least watch it as far as 2 minutes and 13 seconds in.(since this clip counts down it would be until 1:27 is showing on the counter) This is so bad I giggle uncontrolably every time I watch it which makes it my favourite. i know that won't make sense to some of you but just watch it.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
The Following have been put "On Notice" Did you notice?
So the Colbert picture in my last post was a fraud. I found the site that you can do it on and so I have decided to use this new knowledge to put some of my own things "On Notice"
1. Sucky Koivu - You are considered the Habs best player which makes me happy since you are a useless hockey player. I have put you on notice because I think you should not be allowed to be called Captain. Only cool people like Kirk and Mr Kangaroo should have that honour.
2. American Idol - It was fun on the initial ride and then you found the only talented person in the U.S. on the first show. (Kelly Clarkson) Since then this show has destroyed the taste of all its viewers. Sanjaya tried to save the show this year but the idiots who watch the show voted off the only interesting part of this season.
3. Croc Wearers - Ok in the 80s I wore acid wash jeans and wore my collar up. Today people wear crocs. Am I the only one who thinks that in 10 years we will look back and say "you mean people wore those clown shoes in public" Apparently they are comfortable. So is foam. Strap foam to your feet for a better fashion sense and an even more comfortable walk.
4. Broccoli - God cursed certain things in the Garden after the Fall. This is why Broccoli looks like a tree that never grew and tastes like burnt dirty diaper.
5. Vegetarians - Get over it. Kill something and eat it. You are all high and mighty about how it is better not to eat meat and yet your creator put carnivore teeth in your mouth. They are meant to be used in tearing and chewing of flesh. Don't even get me started on the cruelty of you vegetarians peeling vegetables while they are still alive.
6. Andrew Maves - You used to entertain me but now you bore me. Becoming a father has mellowed you too much. You are hardly even a man in my eyes any more. Bring back the rage.
7. Pugs named Clarkson - Yes these creatures do exist although they seem more pig than dog. This one has a face only a mother could love and her mother was a ...
8. People With Armpits - Yes we all know you can make noises with them and braid the hair into amusing shapes but unless you can find me a real use for these things they will stay on the board.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
This is an explanation of 09f911029d74e35bd84156c5635688c0. Apparently it is the code that will enable people to break into high definition disks. (Basically a code to steal movies) Someone broke the code and put it on the net and they were sent a legal notice that they would be sued if they didn't remove it. So they did but not before telling their story. In the past week these numbers are everywhere on the net and other places as well as evidenced by these pictures. Even Stephen Colbert put the numbers on notice. The youtube video is a song that someone wrote that only contains the numbers in the song. It's kind of funny by trying to put a lid on it they have lost total control of it. 
09f911029d74e35bd84156c5635688c0
Apparently posting this makes me a rebel. Who makes these rules? I don't feel any more rebellious. This is just silly.
Apparently posting this makes me a rebel. Who makes these rules? I don't feel any more rebellious. This is just silly.
