Saturday, December 09, 2006
And now Kirk Presents:
The Sound of Music 2007
This movie has needed an upgrade for quite some time and so I have taken it upon myself to do the world this service. The sound of music as it should have been. Here are some excerpts from the new music:
Maria
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
Shoot her in the back and push her down the stairs.
Sixteen Going on Seventeen
I'm size 16 going on 17
When will I stop this growth
You ask if I'd rather have ribs or fried chicken
Baby I want them both.
Favourite Things
Shooting at stray cats and going fly fishing
Stealing from Children the things that they're wishing
Brown paper packages Tied up with string.
No these aren't drugs get away or I'll sing
When the cops come, When the fuzz raids
When I'm almost caught.
I simply remember about Rodney King
And then they beat out my snot
Do-Re-Mi
Doh they're making me sing this song
Ray a deadly stinging fish
Me begins the word mealy
Far So far away all the struggle we thought was in vain and all the mistakes, One life contained They all finally start to go away.
So who really cares?
La the Smurfs like to sing
Tea I really like the Chai
Which brings us back to Doh doh doh doh.
So Long Farewell
So Long Farewell tonight we're going to die
I thought that I could trust that Rolph guy
Good bye, don't cry, We Die
Edelweiss
Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Is code for shut-up Maria
Please don't fight, you know I'm right
Wait I have an id-e-a
Go away never come around. Stay away forever
Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Maria I always will hate you.
I'm sure you can see why this version would be way better. More action, more Julie Andrews being rejected and killed, less sappy love songs about foreign flowers. I rest my case.
Comments:
Post a Comment
