Monday, March 02, 2009
Klingon please...
I stumbled on to a site that got shut down five minutes after I got there. What was happening is people were calling Rosetta which sells language CDs and requesting Klingon. The site was amazing as hundreds of people were recording their conversations. I realize this was a wrong thing to do but this was my favourite:
Her: I'm so glad you called to learn a new language... I'm going to need your zip code.
Me: 4321
Her: ...
Me: Hi.
Her: You are missing a number in that, I only have 4321
Me: Oh sorry, 3
Her: Is that the last number?
Me: Well it's not any less important than the others
Her: Ok, Can I get your name as well?
Me: Leeroy Jenkins, that's M-A-X-W-E-L-L
Her: I'm sorry, did you say Jenkins?
Me: That's right, M-A-X-W-E-L-L
Her: I'm sorry?
Me: No problem. Do you have all the info you need?
Her: Almost, is your last name Jenkins or Maxwell?
Me: Yes it is, please try to pay attention.
Her: OK, which language are you interested in learning today?
Me: Canadian.
Her: English?
Me: I don't think they speak Canadian in England.
Her: I think they speak English in Canada, do you want to learn English?
Me: I'm pretty sure I already know English, I'm calling to ask about Canadian.
Her: We don't offer a Canadian dialect course at this time. Is there another language you might be interested in?
Me: Really? I hope that's not because you don't think Canada is important.
Her: No sir, we just...
Me: It's really big, and they can see Russia from there you know.
Her: Yes I know sir, is there another language you are interested in learning today?
Me: Well, to be honest there's some new people who moved in on my block and they are really weird like they just moved out of their parents basement and maybe it would be a good idea to learn their language so that I could relate to them better, maybe hang out and order a pizza or play battletoads with them
Her: What language do they speak sir?
Me: I'm not sure exactly but if you ask me I think it's Klingon.
Her: Please stop calling us sir, this isn't funny. *click*
Her: I'm so glad you called to learn a new language... I'm going to need your zip code.
Me: 4321
Her: ...
Me: Hi.
Her: You are missing a number in that, I only have 4321
Me: Oh sorry, 3
Her: Is that the last number?
Me: Well it's not any less important than the others
Her: Ok, Can I get your name as well?
Me: Leeroy Jenkins, that's M-A-X-W-E-L-L
Her: I'm sorry, did you say Jenkins?
Me: That's right, M-A-X-W-E-L-L
Her: I'm sorry?
Me: No problem. Do you have all the info you need?
Her: Almost, is your last name Jenkins or Maxwell?
Me: Yes it is, please try to pay attention.
Her: OK, which language are you interested in learning today?
Me: Canadian.
Her: English?
Me: I don't think they speak Canadian in England.
Her: I think they speak English in Canada, do you want to learn English?
Me: I'm pretty sure I already know English, I'm calling to ask about Canadian.
Her: We don't offer a Canadian dialect course at this time. Is there another language you might be interested in?
Me: Really? I hope that's not because you don't think Canada is important.
Her: No sir, we just...
Me: It's really big, and they can see Russia from there you know.
Her: Yes I know sir, is there another language you are interested in learning today?
Me: Well, to be honest there's some new people who moved in on my block and they are really weird like they just moved out of their parents basement and maybe it would be a good idea to learn their language so that I could relate to them better, maybe hang out and order a pizza or play battletoads with them
Her: What language do they speak sir?
Me: I'm not sure exactly but if you ask me I think it's Klingon.
Her: Please stop calling us sir, this isn't funny. *click*
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