Life on the rock. A Habhater's tale.

I just got back from ministerial today and here are some of the things that I learned.

1. I really like our new D.S. (Rev. David Leroy)
2. Rick Kavenaugh has guts when he speaks and I admire him for it. His message was amazing and long overdue for our district.
3. Ben Canney sucks at Euchre
4. I am the new Texas Hold'Em Champion,
5. I went to the wrong seminar. (apparently they desperately needed my wisdom at a different one)
6. My sister's cat's name has been changed to Lucifer. (I felt it fit her better)
7. Paul Tweety would be my nemesis if I already didn't have such an evil one.
8. Andrew Maves is a studd and is officially off notice.
9. My brother can't drive.

300 posts about nothing. (well maybe a couple of exceptions) It just hit me I've written one post for every man that Gideon took into battle with him. Unfortunately none of them ever visit my blog and so it has all been a waste of time. So I'm going to make it official: I'm shutting down my blog for at least a couple of days. Then I'll come back and post again. May this boycott of blogger be a lesson to everyone that they need to make sure they read every word that I type. Which brings me to today's top 9:

Kirk's Top 9 Things he is boycotting.

#8 Blogger but I already told you that.
#7 The Center Ice Package, Hockey News, and live NHL Games. Hey I'm still ticked about the strike.
#6 Unicorns. They are always getting into my garbage. Stupid messy mythical beasts.
#5 Pepsi and Coke Coke because it tastes like urine and Pepsi because it takes control of my body turning me into an uncontrollable drooling sniveling mass of nerves and gives me horrible breathe. You know just like coffee does to most of you.
#4 People with weak wrists. Lately I've just been so aware of my wrist.
#3 Pugs named Clarkson. Now if only I knew a pug named Pee Wee then I could hate it less.
#2 The Dutch (that one was for Justin)
#1 The Single Life (and anything else to do with Paris Hilton) (Not what you thought I meant was it?)

It is important for me that this blog does not lose its focus or purpose. Even Sucky Koivu was quoted this past week as saying the Canadiens are not a Stanley Cup team. I hesitate to say this but I agree with Sucky. Oh yeah and I got engaged on Friday night.

At the risk of becoming a progger once again I found another video that I need to share. I've already ripped the audio off it so I can listen to it on my ipod. All I can say to intro it is Mr T and rap. This may or may not give you a good clue as to what the content of the video is. Enjoy! (if that is possible)

There is a saying that your words can come back to haunt you. This is definitely the case for Vice President Dick Cheney. This video was taken soon after the end of the gulf war. I try not to take sides in political arguments and will refrain from saying what I really think of this. "I think we got it right" is his last line but apparently things changed.

Here is the rest of my list of the top 27 Weird Al quotes. All of these can be downloaded on the left hand side under Weird Al Quotes. You should download them, especially this last list. I had a little fun with the voices in between.

13. I gave our camera to Bernie, and we stood by the ball, And we all gathered around and said, "Cheese."
Then Bernie ran away with my brand new Instamatic, But at least we've got our memories.

12. Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was 90 degrees below. We had to walk butt naked through 40 miles of snow. Worked in the coal mine 22 hours a day for just half a cent. Had to sell my internal organs just to pay the rent.

11. You make me wanna break the laws of time and space. You make me wanna eat pork. You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, Then remove 'em with a pitchfork

10. I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station... with my tongue
Then spend one more minute with you.

9. Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes I get to thinking you don't love me anymore

8. My love for you's like diarrhea I just can't hold it in

7. I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie.

6. They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip!

5. Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?

4. When I said I'd be faithful When I promised I'd be true When I swore that I could never
Be with anyone but you When I told you that I loved you With those tender words I spoke
I was only kidding Now, can't you take a joke?

3. (Look out!) It's gonna melt your face right off your skull
(Look out!) And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull
(Look out!) And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're tryin' to sleep
(Look out!) And make you physically attracted to sheep

2. Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes, and goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!" So I did. And then he gets all indignant on me. He's like, "Hey, man, I was just
being sarcastic!" Well, that's just great. How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader, for cryin' out loud. Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy! So what's he complaining about?

1. I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller! You're just about as useless as jpegs to Helen Keller