Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Kirk's Top 9 Best Reality Shows
The list isn't very long because I think most reality shows are ridiculous. I still watch many of them so I guess in some ways I am a hypocrite. Here are the top 9
#6 The News Just not the really biased American news like CNN or Fox News. Only the real news like the Colbert Report for me.
#5 Survivor - Ok I know they eat sandwiches and sit in hot tubs when the camera isn't on them but I do find the show fun to watch. It's always fun trying to guess which one is the Christian and which one is the gay guy. Rudy from the very first Survivor made me a fan.
#4 The Amazing Race - I find the show exciting and interesting. When I was in Heathrow Airport I put the theme song on my ipod and ran around the airport. Good Times. It is an informative show and you get to see people's true nature. Boston Rob leaving the accident victims on the side of the road showed us what a jerk he was.
#3 Big Brother - Ok I know I'll get flack for this one but I really like it. I would love to be on a show like that. Hanging out for 3 months playing Euchre and playing games is like the best life I can imagine. Plus I love slop and Peanut butter and jelly so I would be all set.
# 2 The Mole - This was an amazing show. It tested the intellect of the competitors and the viewers. Clues as to who the mole was were given to the viewers each week if you could find them. One of the best shows ever...
#1 The Joe Schmo Show - This as a reality show that made fun of reality shows. Only one guy didn't know everything was fake and everyone else on the show was an actor. So funny. The episode where everyone had to eat something gross so everyone would get a flat screen TV was great. All the actors were actually eating real food but when it was Joe Schmo's turn they put real dog feces in front of him. He chose to not eat the poop. It made me titter. The second season even had Jonovision star Jonathan Torrence as one of the actors. CLASSIC .
#6 The News Just not the really biased American news like CNN or Fox News. Only the real news like the Colbert Report for me.
#5 Survivor - Ok I know they eat sandwiches and sit in hot tubs when the camera isn't on them but I do find the show fun to watch. It's always fun trying to guess which one is the Christian and which one is the gay guy. Rudy from the very first Survivor made me a fan.
#4 The Amazing Race - I find the show exciting and interesting. When I was in Heathrow Airport I put the theme song on my ipod and ran around the airport. Good Times. It is an informative show and you get to see people's true nature. Boston Rob leaving the accident victims on the side of the road showed us what a jerk he was.
#3 Big Brother - Ok I know I'll get flack for this one but I really like it. I would love to be on a show like that. Hanging out for 3 months playing Euchre and playing games is like the best life I can imagine. Plus I love slop and Peanut butter and jelly so I would be all set.
# 2 The Mole - This was an amazing show. It tested the intellect of the competitors and the viewers. Clues as to who the mole was were given to the viewers each week if you could find them. One of the best shows ever...
#1 The Joe Schmo Show - This as a reality show that made fun of reality shows. Only one guy didn't know everything was fake and everyone else on the show was an actor. So funny. The episode where everyone had to eat something gross so everyone would get a flat screen TV was great. All the actors were actually eating real food but when it was Joe Schmo's turn they put real dog feces in front of him. He chose to not eat the poop. It made me titter. The second season even had Jonovision star Jonathan Torrence as one of the actors. CLASSIC .
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
It's time once again for
Kirk's Top 9 Most Useless Reality Shows Ever
# 12 Ghost Hunters - 2 Plumbers search for ghosts in their spare time. need I say more
#11 Deadliest Catch - I actually just put this on the list to tick Scott Ingalls off.
#10 Supernanny - You suck as parents so I'll show you. My biggest beef is that she doesn't sing songs like supercalafragelisticexpialadocious and a spoonful of sugar
#9 Beauty and the Geek - I really don't even get this show. Let's put these social rejects in socially awkward situations with loose women. Oh now I get it.
#8 The Biggest Loser - Days of Our Lives, Sammy dead pans a show I assumed was about the American Idol show watchers. Instead if you don't lose weight fast enough you get kicked out and have to deal with rejection and obesity. Nice.
#7 I'm a Celebrity:Get Me Out of Here - D list celebrities forced to live in the jungle until they yell out the name of the show. This show would have been better if they put them in a lion's den instead of the jungle.
#6 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll - One of the most blatant band publicity stunts ever.
#5 America's Next Top Model - Finally a show the encourages people to be anorexic.
#4 Married By America - America votes on who you should marry. The only reason this show wasn't number 2 is the fact that the guy left the girl at the altar in the last show. It made me giggle.
#3 Temptation Island - The best way to know if he is the one for you is to get him to hang out with a bunch of scantily clad women who are constantly flirting with him and see if he resists the temptation. They should try this same concept for alcoholics and see if it catches on.
#2 Are You Hot? - The lasting image of this show for me is of Lorenzo Lamas using a laser pointer to point out little deposits of cellulite on people's butts. This was a low point in television history.
#1 American Idol - This show is not about finding America's top talent. The selection process if you know how they do it is proof of that. Only a handful of people in each of the cities gets a shot at auditioning. Simon Cowell often says this is a singing competition but most "ugly" contestants never get to the audition no matter how good they sound. People are sucked in to this world of Idol worship. Who will America bow down and worship next? The judges are a guy with an 11 word vocabulary (most of them are derivatives of the word dawg) a drug addict, and a nasty judgmental man in black. Worst show ever!!!!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Spooning not so fun.
Well I sliced my finger open last night with a spoon. Here is what happened. We were playing the game spoons and I reached and grabbed a spoon by the rounded cup shaped part. Unfortunately for me Scottie Leighton grabbed the handle and yanked on it. I was squeezing my end very hard and continued to as it slid through my finger. The dull edge of the spoon cut a path through several layers of my skin until it was free from my hand and totally within the grasp of Scottie's hand. I noticed a sharp pain on my finger and the drops of blood that were falling on the table immediately. Of course Scott Ingalls camp was not equipped with even a standard first aid kit and so Jo rushed to bandage me up with what was available: paper towel and duct tape. I got a little light headed. ('cause I thought I saw some of the bone in my finger and I didn't want to deal with needles for freezing or for stitching) Everyone wanted me to go to the hospital but I refused to go because let's face it I was not going to walk into the hospital with a cut and have them say how did this happen? I cut myself with a spoon.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
For Better For Worse
I am a Bears fan no matter how well they play. Last year was amazing and this year so far.....not so much. The one bright and shining star for the Bears is Devin Hester, their kick returner. This is only his second season and it is already not to early to say he is the best returner of all time in the NFL. In 88 attempts in his career he has run back 9 for touchdowns (NFL record) and that doesn't even count his Superbowl return for a touchdown. Anyways even non sports fans will appreciate this video of Devin while he was still in college. Simply amazing.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Stephen Colbert for President
This is what everyone will be talking about over the next few months. I called this at least 6 months ago and am excited that my favourite neighbours to the immediate south of us are finally running a decent candidate. Only days before he officially tipped his hat into the ring he had this to say "I am not ready to announce yet -- even though it's clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative." All of this excitement fills me with great hope that wrist awareness will continue to spread and with the platform of president of the United States the world may one day be safe from wrist injuries. I wonder if there will be a surge of residents moving back to South Carolina (the only state he is officially running in) One thing is for sure. The youth vote will be represented for once in America's history.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Voice Rest
I went to the doctor today and was told I needed to rest my voice. No singing and very little talking. I'm trying to figure out whether or not I can mime an entire sermon. it is kind of weird for me as I'm used to singing on average 68 times a day. Even last Saturday during our contemporary service, (expertly lead by Dan Boyd) I couldn't resist singing throughout the service even though every time I swallowed it hurt. Maybe my silence will mean more time for me to blog. Maybe this will mean I will have a shot at blogger of the month at Matt's blog. One can only dream.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Ok it is official I am on the band wagon. My favourite tv show and only show that I watch live is The Office. Unlike most people though my favourite character is not Dwight. The Jim, Pam plot is the most boring part to me, and I see nothing wrong with how Michael leads. My favourite character is actually Creed. At times he may seem a little inappropriate but I laugh out loud after pretty much everything he says and does. Here are a few examples:
Karen: You can’t give paper clips to a baby. He might swallow them.
Creed: Oh it’s ok, I’ve got tons of them.
Creed: [Walks into the office as everyone stares at Michael's poop smelling carpet] ... Hey guys, somebody making soup?
Michael: Okay, Ryan. You told Toby that Creed has a distinct "old man smell?"
Creed: [Talking Head] I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.
Michael: Someone complained that the men's room is "whites only". Stanley, you know that's not true.
Stanley: I didn't say that.
Creed: Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?
Creed (after he wins the fridge): I've never owned a refrigerator before.
Creed: You know, a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.
Dwight: You're thinking of a chicken.
Creed: What did I say?
Creed: [after eating a raw fish he caught with his bare hands] I didn't know we were having hot dogs.
One of my favs is his description after Jan enhances her "tracts of land" Funny stuff. (a little too risquee for this site)
Karen: You can’t give paper clips to a baby. He might swallow them.
Creed: Oh it’s ok, I’ve got tons of them.
Creed: [Walks into the office as everyone stares at Michael's poop smelling carpet] ... Hey guys, somebody making soup?
Michael: Okay, Ryan. You told Toby that Creed has a distinct "old man smell?"
Creed: [Talking Head] I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.
Michael: Someone complained that the men's room is "whites only". Stanley, you know that's not true.
Stanley: I didn't say that.
Creed: Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?
Creed (after he wins the fridge): I've never owned a refrigerator before.
Creed: You know, a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.
Dwight: You're thinking of a chicken.
Creed: What did I say?
Creed: [after eating a raw fish he caught with his bare hands] I didn't know we were having hot dogs.
One of my favs is his description after Jan enhances her "tracts of land" Funny stuff. (a little too risquee for this site)
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Lately I've been just so aware of my wrist and I owe it all to Stephen Colbert and his Wriststrong bracelets. I believe his campaign to promote wrist awareness has probably saved me from wrist injury at least twice. During the day I'll look down and see the bracelet and then say to myself "I have a wrist". It has been very comforting. One of the rules of owning one of these bracelets is if you meet someone who is more famous then you, then you have to give them your bracelet. The idea behind this is eventually all the famous people in the world will have them and Wrist neglect will become a thing of the past. I salute this effort. (I wouldn't be able to salute without my wrist) and applaud the greatness of this campaign. (again impossible without my wrists.)
