Life on the rock. A Habhater's tale.

Do you ever have that feeling like no matter what you do it will never be enough to make the people around you happy? Do ever wake up and feel like you will never satisfy the people around you? Does it seem like you just don't fit in? Well I don't. On a different note I watched the Lost finale last night and chose not to watch the anti Biblical bow to your American Idol finale. Sorry but Taylor Hicks winning is a joke. Lost on the other hand entertained me. J.J. Abrams is a genius. I was pleased to find out he directed the new Mission Impossible 3 and turned the movie into something watchable and believable. I'm hoping to check out Xmen 3 tomorrow to see the super hero that is based on my life. (Colossus) I'd like to sit down sometime and talk to him about how he deals with being indestructible. Sometimes when I'm wrestling with someone I feel sorry for the one I'm wrestling knowing there is nothing they can do to hurt me. Well I'm going golfing in an hour so I must get ready. Always remember only you can prevent forest fires and so far you've been doing a great job.

The New Beulah Land

Got bored and wrote another song last night. This is a parody of a classic 80's rock and roll song. The words are mostly an updated version of the Beulah Land song. for all of you who go to Beulah Camp you may understand this song a little more. for those that don't have a clue basically I'm making fun of a hymn that makes no sense to about 94% of the population. As per usual if you want to download it click the Beulah Land link on the left under the Kirk's downloads section. Or just click here: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Beulah Land

Dan Lamos is running out of time.

Everyone must download Streamline by Newton. I am declaring this song along with Everytime We Touch by Cascada as the Kirk Perry official dance songs of the summer. Know this!!! At any given moment you are dancing to either of these songs you may just be dancing with me. (I know that has been the dream of many and the nightmare of others)(especially those hiding from the mafia in a supermarket) (that was a totally inside joke) I actually have planned a few posts but haven't had the time to sit down and do the work to get them ready for print. I have decided something though. I am only giving Dan Lamos 30 days to sign my blog and then he will be moved to my blacklisted star list which already includes such names as Shania Twang, Reese Witherspoon, and Casper the "friendly" Ghost. Only 8 wins left.


Dan Lamos has not posted in 14 days and still has 16 days left before he becomes officially blacklisted.

I can hardly believe my Hurricanes are playing so well. For those of you that don't follow hockey: Hockey is a sport, men chase a puck (flat, black, hard ball) with sticks and beat each other senseless until someone gets the puck into the net. This is called a goal. Ok for the rest of us. I took the ride back in 2002 all the way to the finals and I'm hoping to do it again. Carolina is my only favourite team that has not won the top prize in their sport. (unless you count the Avco Cup in the WHA)

Retraction - my bad the Harem scarem is actually the Ace of Diamonds in the Elvis deck. Imagine my embarrassment to forget such an important detail. Thanks to Justin Coutu for revealing my shortcoming to the world.

Days that Dan Lamos has not commented on my blog = 8

(WHERE ARE YOU DAN? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, COMMENT TO ME. WHY WON'T YOU SPEAK TO ME? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?) The preceding message was only meant for one person so please do not read it. In retrospect it may or may not have been better to put this warning in front of the monostatement. Oops.

As Nate, Scott, and I lay tanning on my clothing mandatory roof this afternoon singing backstreet boys songs at the top of our lungs I realized the Habs will never, ever win another cup. This made me very happy. I can now enjoy the playoffs. I of course hope that Carolina wins the cup but I actually like all the rest of the teams that are left and so I can't really lose. Just a reminder that I am collecting Hab paraphernalia to burn at camp again this year. Short post but it is time to go. Always remember life is like a box of shoe horns. You never know when you'll get your finger stuck in a shoe.

Days that Dan Lamos has not commented on my blog = 4.

Ok if you go back to April 15th you can read the real comment that Mike MacNeil made on my blog thereby making it that much more cooler. (the blog I mean) All other comment signed by Mike since then have been by Mrs. Identity stealer "not Neves" (Wait till operation get "not Neves" credit cards and distribute them on the net to see how she likes identity theft operation goes down) Ok to bring even more prestige to my blog I'm hoping the next celebrity commenter will be none other than Dan Lamos. Dan and I are both alumni of one of the greatest singing groups of all time (His Likeness) and when it comes to getting things done I know Dan would say "I am a fighter, I have put my trust in Him. I am a fighter I will win." So Dan if you hear about this please comment on my blog as it will make me feel all squishy inside.
For those of you that don't understand Euchre or the slang here is an explanation of the song:

The last card Game - Going alone and knowing there is only one card you can lose on. You sing the song until the last card is played.

Tara Smith Under Trump - Apparently Tara was guilty of this a lot. It is playing a trump card when you don't need to that can't beat the trump that have already been played.

pulling a Tim - going alone and getting Euchred. While this does happen to even the greatest Euchre players (ie: Anita and myself) it seems to happen to Tim more than most. (named after Tim Branscombe)

left and right - the two Jacks of trump also referred to as the bowers

vibe - unexplainable feeling professional euchre players get to take bids that seem weak or to play cards that may be risky. You don't make fun of the vibe as listening to it determines what level of Euchre you will achieve.

Bruce it - ordering up trump without looking at your cards (named after Robert Bruce)

pulling a Steph - making a blatant Euchre error and it working out for you. This is not to be confused with the vibe. (named after Stephanie Neves) This euchre maneuver just recently lead to my first ever skunk game verses you guessed it the Steph.

Jonned - to trump another person's trump (trump not being lead) (named after Jon Billings)

Geoffed - to trump a Jon this would mean the first person didn't lead trump but the next three players all do in ascending value. The one who Geoffs it gets the hand. (named after Geoff Hooper)

Harem Scarem - the Queen of diamonds in the Elvis deck that we often played with

Temptress - taking the bid with queen, ten, nine being your only trump (also referred to as the seductress)

Anita - reference to Anita Pybus the worlds top ranked Euchre player and host of the famous Anita Pybus annual invitational Euchre tournament

turn down a bower lose for 60 minutes - original saying is turn down a bower lose for an hour but that is just too cutesy to me so I changed it.

So there you go. Now you understand. If you don't then you don't even know how to play euchre which is very sad.